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Nov 14, 2005
Posted at 08:45 am by heartstudio
Permalink
Nov 10, 2005
So i've said my goodbye to Hi-P but i'm saying a new hello to another job as Ty beanie bears promoter. Starting on monday and i barely have time to rest fully. Sigh. i really don't feel like working anymore, but for the sake of money, i'm holding on. Ty big boss who interviewed me asked a really good question. He asked me i wanted to work or i needed to work. I told him i wanted to work. Because i wanted to. Told him because i didn't like the fact that i always took my parent's money to buy the things that i wanted, therefore you got me looking for a job. yess. whatever. i'm just trying my best already. that's all that's of me.
how i wish to just rot and walk.
- i need you i want you here with me yesterday is gone i'm here where i belong this is where i'll stay jesus i will never walk away.
Posted at 11:02 pm by heartstudio
Permalink
Nov 3, 2005
God. why is it so hard sometimes to make a simple decision. to let go and just let you?
Thank you so much for being in my life. for everything/one that you have blessed me with. I Love You.
these three words were meant for you. especially for you.
i can never explain the ''coincidents'' that the worlds sees. i just know it's from you. and you. alone.
that's all i need to know.
I Love You.
-where can i ever begin to tell of the love you have showered upon me? when especially they were times where i've abandoned you.
Posted at 09:11 pm by heartstudio
Permalink
Oct 30, 2005
alrighty. i've been wanting to update about my "second" job.. heh, soon there'll be a third one coming up. :) well anyway, this second job offers a pretty good pay and NO LIFE. that's the sad part. this job, or should i add? this life-stealing job requires you to NOT use your brains and ROT in that chair. woo! and there are actually quite a number of students working there too. about 10-20? jeez. for me, i just can't stand it. brrrrr, and not to mention that it gets real cold at night. 2-11 that's my shift, and that's only the second shift. only the morning shift offers a bit of life. that explains why they need people for the 2nd and 3rd shift which goes all the way to the next morn. sigh. but fortunately, God was gracious to me, (haha) i have three other friends/collegues with me during work,so life on that job is still bearable(heh, pls excue mi england hor..ha!). i can't take it!!! i have to work on sats and suns,3-11. i'd rather die if you didn't let me go to cell and service. i've missed one cell and service and i'm breaking soon. nonetheless i'm still holding on, because i'll be quiting SOON!! when i get my first pay, GOODBYE LIFE STEALING HI-P!!! and i'll get the big bucks with me. MUAHAHA! but til then, i'm to slot the parts in and rot. jeez. i was about to type sucking but decided that stealing was better eh? haha! with this job, i miss living life. i miss my family. i miss the not-so-nice-and tasteless-but-seem-so-appealing dinner that my mum cooks. (sigh) i miss my best friend. i miss my friends. i miss UN.A. i miss church. i miss my sisters and brothers in christ. darn! i miss singing praise and worship. but thank God for technology and his creation. i can still hum christian songs during work. hah! never mind, once i get the money i'll be free. i still remember the verse that God gave after my first day at work. where i had bawled my heart out during my shower, praying that the pouring water and radio would cover my crying inside the bathroom. i was breaking and breaking. jeez. i jsut missed God so much. darn, now i wanna cry too. jeez. well anyway i knew where to go whenever i was down, so i went there. The Bible. God in written form. and He was there to offer me his comfort and rest as always and forever. :) I LOVE GOD!!
-Awake, awake O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of slendor, O jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again.
Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem.
Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughter of Zion.
Isaiah52:1-2
-But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the Lord will go before you, the God of Isreal will be your rear guard.
Isaiah52:12
I love you jesus.
Posted at 10:12 am by heartstudio
Permalink
Oct 22, 2005
Posted at 01:37 pm by heartstudio
Permalink
Oct 18, 2005
so many impossiblities. pushing me to a corner. forcing me no where else to go but upwards and inwards.
gee/ooh/dee
Posted at 11:16 pm by heartstudio
Permalink
Oct 17, 2005
how come they don't seem to agree? what is it that i am not doing right? sheesh! okay, so i finished my CCK job today, got the fourty-eight bucks in hand, yet not quite. giving up 5 more bucks to Nad cuz she helped me on one of the nights. hah! sorry guys, know you guys helped me too yet i'm not giving you money.. haha.. phew! those three nights were not easily gone through. i always go back home with a aching back and rotten feet. hah! oh but whatever, considering now that i have the money. BUT! i still need another job that's constent. gonna have to find it soon man! LORD, please say that you'll help me find one! Also i pray hard that the potential people will call during this month for the before/after school care at Pro-Teach and register their kids in. if ten people did that, i could get a 100 bucks! MAN! i really pray hard for that to happen. jeez, you don't know how hard i need the money man! i know the reason may sound really crazy but, yea that's the reason.
Posted at 09:03 pm by heartstudio
Permalink
Oct 15, 2005
i don't know what i'm talking about.
seriously.
i h*** it when i'm like this.
like i don't even know myself.
like i've lost control of myself.
like i don't recognise anymore.
like i'm under somebody else's control.
and i loathe that.
sometimes i really h*** myself.
but i'm trying.
can't you see i'm trying?
i'm trying my whole being away.
i need you.
God.
Posted at 01:16 pm by heartstudio
Permalink
Oct 14, 2005
First job. Giving out the flyers of Pro-teach, a tuition and after school care centre for P1s to P6s. Not as bad as i thought it to be. Felt that wee bit of embrassment, but after a while, it seemed all normal, besides, i had music with me, so it was my world. hah! So conclusion was $8 per hour. worked 2 today, think i'll work 3 on sun. Then a few more on mon. tues and weds. dead beat about it.
ihnffss. sometimes i don't get when they say that it's very easier. do they realise that people nowadays are different from before? but i still believe that nothing's stronger than God himself. it's just that, everytime there's no one, it's hard. it affects us if you haven't realise that. Darn. i don't want to say so much here. My fatigue is speaking.
i don't know how long it'll take. but i want to be rid of it as soon as possible. it will be some day.
we're slowly going do you realise, it has never been the same.
-beat.
Posted at 11:23 pm by heartstudio
Permalink
Oct 12, 2005
i'm begining to really feel the pressure and stress and helplessness and the need of dependency on somthing/one greater and i know just where i can find it. i don't know what might happen, i fear that. but i'm learning to put this fear unto Him and let him transform that into that powerful thing called Faith. i'm having the courage of God for he lives just right in me.
-sometimes in this world i just feel like dying but He made it all worth living for and i believe in Him. For he makes the darkest storm into the brightest rainbow ever known.
Posted at 09:25 pm by heartstudio
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Jesus Trend
Nad
Chloe
Benjamin
Rebs
Debra
Jennifer
Terance
The Afters
Beautiful Love
Far away, I can feel your beating heart
All alone, beneath the crystal stars
Staring into space, what a lonely face
I'll try to find my place with you
What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love
Larger than the moon, my love for you
Worlds collide, as heaven pulls us through
The secret of the world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine
What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love
Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe our love will catch like fire
As it burns through me
What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love
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